I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
