The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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