i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
