I wish i was in the wii world.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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