HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
