i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize