Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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