He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
