Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
