toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
