i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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