There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Blood and glitter go together right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
