I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
