In the future we'll all be gay
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
nutella sex= disaster
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
