She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
