She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
