Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
