No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
