Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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