Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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