I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
