i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
