There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
