are you still at the devil's house?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
