GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
