We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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