HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
