Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
