So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You've changed since you got that strap on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
