well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
