if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
