Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I could have mohawked her pubes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
