i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sorry about my life...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
