I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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