So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Drake has all the answers
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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