So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize