It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
