He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
