There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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