cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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