Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize