the new term for farting is butt boxing.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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