I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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