i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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