is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
