Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
