Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.

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(512): View more from Texas

My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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(205): View more from Alabama

there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?

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(513): View more from Ohio

the room spins SO much faster in panama

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(312): View more from Illinois

Are you in a cab?

(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?

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(585): View more from New York

I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.

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(850): View more from Florida

HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.

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(917): View more from New York City

Yea we just broke up

(914): View more from New York

so do we start sexting now or later?

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(586): View more from Michigan

I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...

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