marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
