Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
