He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
