bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
