I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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