Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
