Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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