Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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