I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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