You can't motorboat a personality
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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