my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
