Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
