i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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