1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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