your room smells of hookers.
And success
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
