I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
