Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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