No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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